Sunday, December 9, 2012

Ode to Sit/Stay

I try, at least once a week to have an entire day that is only about me - anything goes. In fact, the only rules are whatever it is, I must gain pleasure and that I must not catch a glimpse of guilt.  
 
One of my angel sisters taught me that downtime (AKA sit/stay for all you dog training speak people out there) is a vital way of keeping balance in my world, and that rest is likely one of the most healing zones in the universe for the core spirit.  It is self care - not selfISH. This has been one of the most lovely and productive lessons of my entire life.  Feel free to insert ironic giggle here - downtime equals productivity?  YES. 

Sometimes  I eat soup (and yes, crackers) in bed watching movies for the entire day in my PJ's.  Other times it's crocheting my heart out - or writing - or cooking - or reading - or doing 12 crossword puzzles - or going for a hike - or learning something about a topic that has been burning me with curiosity - or I build a mental a fort of blankets to block the energy of others.  For quite a while, it meant two, that's right gentle reader, TWO naps in one day. I proudly call that my sloth period.  I went wild one Sunday and took three baths.  I may stay away from all communication technology - or not. My choice.

One of the magical parts of this concept, is that often, I will do one of the things on my to-do list that has been giving me pressure.  Or (as my friend M calls it) J(z)enn day - pressure suddenly turns into pleasure. 

This morning when I woke, I realized I needed to have a day to myself,  STAT.  It's not holiday stress - that's not my style, as I dearly love this season that is all about love - it feels as though everyone has joined me on my daily take on life. 

So, what's up, Jenn? - that's what I had to ask myself.  (It's always a good idea to actually get in touch with yourself, I've noticed here lately)

What I realized is that during this transition time from my recent move, is I've been putting subconscious pressure on myself.  The garden needs my attention. I owe countless responses to emails.  I offered to help a friend with her resume and didn't realize she had a deadline.  I washed my sheets yesterday but they never quite made it on the bed.  (Well, they are on the bed, but in a pile at the foot of it - unfolded I might add- I just pretended I was at a slumber party last night)  I've got a list of gifts to make for people.  I've had some incredibly deep, life-changing conversations recently that I've not fully processed. 

Ring, ring.  It's for you, Jenn - it's the universe phoning to tell you to slow down.
 
Doing, doing, doing is not necessarily being. 

Sometimes I feel as though I need to justify J(z)enn days.  Then I stop and ask - to who?  Why? The more I treasure and take care of myself, the better off everything is.  I even posted on FB that I was officially declaring this day as all mine. The responses were  beautifully stunning - everyone told me to enjoy myself - that I was worth it. I assumed it may appear that I was isolating or even (GASP) being lazy.  The real question in those assumptions is whose life is this? 

Sometimes the answer is simply this:  It IS all about me.

It is my greatest wish that we all begin to realize self care, especially when under pressure is the only choice - the only answer.  Sit/stay.

Must dash - The Sloth Era discussion reminded me I need a nap and my soup is ready. 

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