Happy New YEARS!

 

Happy Solstice to you, your Spirit and your loved ones. May blessings of love, light and deep joy be yours and may wondrous and magical adventures await you in each new doorway. 

Radical Kindness, Now Please

For years, Thanksgiving was  my favorite holiday.  I love the fullness of energy with many of us sitting in gratitude at the same time.  I practice gratitude so often it's save my life, so I've a certain obvious reverence for it.  Gratitude is a requirement in my daily intake - like air and water.  

I realized a few days ago I love the Christmas/holiday season for the same energetic based reasons - lots o' people practicing love with a little more intention and focus. As I looked at this, I thought again, this is how I try to live my life every single day. 
 
This year, I made a deal to not put pressure on myself during the Holiday season as part of my trek towards being kinder to myself at all times.  Many amazing reasons exist - like I moved recently; I'm learning more balance in general, including finding a productive writing/creating structure, financial, emotional and otherwise; the bulk of my peeps do not live in even the same state as I, and so on.

Yet, while sipping my coffee this morning, I looked around the room at all the things I felt would be good to get done/mailed/finished/made/created/wrapped/blessed/baked/etc.  before Christmas and I found myself wanting a nap at 7:38 AM.

So, here is what I've decided:

While I shall absolutely enjoy the warm, love-filled feeling of all Christmas Holiday type activities/etc., to the fullest extent, I am declaring it Christmas-giving all year long.  I forgive myself in advance and totally allow myself to go with with feels right and wonderful whenever that might be.

I'm not insinuating my alter ego Elf Rowan needs to die, or that I am refusing to celebrate this beautiful season at all, or that some surprises aren't under the tree or in stockings already.  I love the scents, the foods, the sights - the glow - the ritual of it all.   

What I am suggesting, insisting even, is that I love and cherish my family, my friends,myself and Spirit every day, period.

Instead of rushing about trying to cram all that love into a few dinners where people aren't present with their ever monstrous running to do list in their minds - or trying to snap together some serious "quality time" to share holiday cheer - nope.  No more.  I'm going to stretch the warmth of the season out to the entire year. 

I'm going to go stark raving mad and send more real mail - a note here, a crochet trinket there, those kinds of, sweet, silly surprises.

When I think of someone - I'm going to get radical and stop for just a second and use Facebook or email to the power of good and send a note, or a quote or a silly picture, and I'm going to tell them I'm thinking of them and that I love them. 

I'm ever grateful for the grace-filled gift of kindness and I'm excited about my new Christmas-giving everyday plan.  

Blessings, love and light to you and yours.

Ode to Sit/Stay

I try, at least once a week to have an entire day that is only about me - anything goes. In fact, the only rules are whatever it is, I must gain pleasure and that I must not catch a glimpse of guilt.  
 
One of my angel sisters taught me that downtime (AKA sit/stay for all you dog training speak people out there) is a vital way of keeping balance in my world, and that rest is likely one of the most healing zones in the universe for the core spirit.  It is self care - not selfISH. This has been one of the most lovely and productive lessons of my entire life.  Feel free to insert ironic giggle here - downtime equals productivity?  YES. 

Sometimes  I eat soup (and yes, crackers) in bed watching movies for the entire day in my PJ's.  Other times it's crocheting my heart out - or writing - or cooking - or reading - or doing 12 crossword puzzles - or going for a hike - or learning something about a topic that has been burning me with curiosity - or I build a mental a fort of blankets to block the energy of others.  For quite a while, it meant two, that's right gentle reader, TWO naps in one day. I proudly call that my sloth period.  I went wild one Sunday and took three baths.  I may stay away from all communication technology - or not. My choice.

One of the magical parts of this concept, is that often, I will do one of the things on my to-do list that has been giving me pressure.  Or (as my friend M calls it) J(z)enn day - pressure suddenly turns into pleasure. 

This morning when I woke, I realized I needed to have a day to myself,  STAT.  It's not holiday stress - that's not my style, as I dearly love this season that is all about love - it feels as though everyone has joined me on my daily take on life. 

So, what's up, Jenn? - that's what I had to ask myself.  (It's always a good idea to actually get in touch with yourself, I've noticed here lately)

What I realized is that during this transition time from my recent move, is I've been putting subconscious pressure on myself.  The garden needs my attention. I owe countless responses to emails.  I offered to help a friend with her resume and didn't realize she had a deadline.  I washed my sheets yesterday but they never quite made it on the bed.  (Well, they are on the bed, but in a pile at the foot of it - unfolded I might add- I just pretended I was at a slumber party last night)  I've got a list of gifts to make for people.  I've had some incredibly deep, life-changing conversations recently that I've not fully processed. 

Ring, ring.  It's for you, Jenn - it's the universe phoning to tell you to slow down.
 
Doing, doing, doing is not necessarily being. 

Sometimes I feel as though I need to justify J(z)enn days.  Then I stop and ask - to who?  Why? The more I treasure and take care of myself, the better off everything is.  I even posted on FB that I was officially declaring this day as all mine. The responses were  beautifully stunning - everyone told me to enjoy myself - that I was worth it. I assumed it may appear that I was isolating or even (GASP) being lazy.  The real question in those assumptions is whose life is this? 

Sometimes the answer is simply this:  It IS all about me.

It is my greatest wish that we all begin to realize self care, especially when under pressure is the only choice - the only answer.  Sit/stay.

Must dash - The Sloth Era discussion reminded me I need a nap and my soup is ready. 

The Delightful Near Death of My Cell Phone

My cell phone's screen has made a decision to remain frozen in eternity.  It's been that way for a few days, but I thought I'd kind of wait out Mercury Retrograde and see if it didn't spark back to life. Nope.

Looking back over the past few years, I have needed to replace my phone for one reason or another, just about exactly every 6 months.  Mind you, it's not one of those fancy-schmancy gizmos, it's a little LG with a keypad, small enough to fit in my pocket, so it's not modern technology making this happen.  Unless there are some implanted gremlins I'm unaware of.  It's also not that every time I've dropped it in the drink - or a drink or the toilet, to be most specific, that was only once.  

$3,654, 777.32  later spent purchasing the newest model of the unsmart phone from V-------, it dawned on me, I might just ask my V------- pals to help a girl out and send me one of their retired phones lying around in their old phone cemetery drawers.  So, I posted this morning on Facebook and lo and behold, 10 minutes later, the gently used, ever loved phone will be in the mail, hurling through space to little ole' me.  In fact, there are two on the way and may I just say being prepared feels awfully wise at this stage?

While that might be happy ending enough for some, I, of course, have a couple of side stories to tell that make this an extra delightful situation. 

It got several of us to talking about our magnetic personalities.  Many of us can't keep a watch alive to save our own lives.  Some blow out street lights, others computers and various other electronic devices.  We came to the conclusion, that it's a good thing a) because it gives us a break and b) because our energetic vibrations have been raised to a really, super cool level.  I was also able to admit publicly that I would be a 12 step program nightmare if I had to try to keep a houseplant alive for a year.  So, I'm feeling all strong about that.

Then, someone pointed out how rapidly I manifested a solution.  I, personally, believe that the word 'manifest' is simply a swanky word for 'ask'.  Then, I got all misty-eyed, realizing I'd turned a corner on something I've struggled with my entire life.  I asked for help for ME.  Not for the animals, or for a pal, or a friend's second cousin once removed - but for me.  And I was immediately validated by a beautiful, amusing, witty, extremely generous and love-filled conversation.  AND two phones. 

All I had to do was ask.  

Thanks y'all. 

Homage to Love

I’ve a friend who is my adopted brother and cookie provider and boyfriend of my found sister.  He’s one of the most gentle, loving spirits I’ve ever known

The night before Thanksgiving, his 33 year old daughter transitioned after an extensive battle with Type One Diabetes.  It was sudden, but then Diabetes is not the most polite disease.

It’s been a most bittersweet time – and I want to stop for a moment to pay some respect to the energy it takes to mourn and to support those that are the supporters of the loved ones of the passed beings.  I want to pay homage to love.  

It rolls deeply and though it is unlikely I will ever comprehend the loss of a child of my own, I can respect how it feels and send love in waves to those who are experiencing this type of loss.  It’s one of the truest definitions of empathy I’ve ever experienced.  

So, love your people – reach out – forgive – enjoy – laugh – respect.  Try to, like I am, to always remember that love is where it all is and where it all goes. 

Diving In

They say that to be a writer, one must actually write.  I've got that part down - the part they don't talk too terribly much about, at least in my experience, is that one must then share the words with other humans.  While dogs are lovely listeners and some I know even give input, it's the two-legged creatures with brain matter that comprehend and upon occasion enjoy the English Language that are likely your audience. 

In fact last night I was giggling as I read a book – I thought how hard could it possibly be to write a book, for the love of Scooby? We’ve all had amusing, painful, poignant, insightful, spiritual, awful, hysterically funny things happen that we could jot down and call 'writing'.  Surely I can't be the only one having experiences in this life.....

So, what it is?  What is the big writing mystery?

Well, have you ever tried to name a blog?  This is where some of the enigma truly begins – naming or titling things.  Then, have you ever tried to write the description?  Even though you KNOW you can change any and all things and are fully aware of the almighty, powerful concept of delete you remember – it will never go away.  Every word you publish online is out there in the horrid font choice in the putrid color you first thought would be quirky, funky and fun to read.  

Then something even stranger happens.  You suddenly see your fifth grade teacher Mr. A (because you STILL can’t spell his name) finding your blog, and reading your words and shaking his head with wonder at how 30 AHEM odd years later you still have not figured out the proper use of a comma. 

You also have the sneaking suspicion your mother will read the blog, not tell you and worse yet, not tell her friends.  

This is when the stories really start flying.  Oh yes, gentle reader, and not necessarily the kind you had in mind. 

I figure I'll just keep a list of those things and use them for my fiction writing......

 “Nobody cares much whether you write or not. You just have to do it”

― Natalie Goldberg 

Come on in, the water is fine.