I recently experienced an extraordinarily vulnerable patch in this thing called my life, and I have to tell you, I could not be more grateful for it. I'd been carting around this rather make believe mother lode of burden over some things it it felt like I'd never - I mean never ever be able to do anything about them. I had made up some some seriously awful stories in my head and realized I had put myself in the Loserville zip code for all my life. I'm here to tell ya was pretty dark in this little head of mine....
Blessedly I have several very strong, very compassionate, very brave friends and family who love me more than I could have imagined - and in a way, they gathered to do a spiritual intervention. I'll be honest, it was super scary, but then it got easier and easier and easier - and are you kidding me? There is a parting gift when you are so wide open that ya show your innards? You get even closer to your people? Thank you Gods and Goddess's in all forms.
One of the really interesting things that happened was that I realized I now had all this space in my spirit since the burdens were out out in the open now. It's like I did a serious spring, summer winter and fall cleaning of my soul. There was time now to think ahead instead of just getting by. Suddenly it dawned on me - I've never really had a dream. I was so busy wallowing in fear that I never really took the time to ask myself what I might like to do with my life.
I began to get so in touch with myself on a cellular level to really find what made my spirit soar with joy. I started to do things like make crochet prayer shawls that I could sell and writing for my blog and as I watched myself really putting my creativity out there - I was rather stunned - inch by inch bravery began to strike and I was liking the taste of that....I'd really comprehended that the Divine had my back and I was ready to start this life on a more ethereal level. Talk about rebirth - wowza. It's lovely to wake up the middle of your own life, by the way - thinking let's get this party started instead of autopilot Eeyore mode.
I'm well on my way to building a brand - and it's all mine - I'm filling my life up with things that I love. Period.
A few days ago, I invited some friends to my Facebook page and just moments later, I got an email from a friend of mine I know from my work in the animal care profession - he's currently in the Bahamas and in fact traveling all over the world now, to speak about canine behavior. In this email, he had attached a picture. Of what you might ask? The red-headed mermaid that was watching over him while he worked today.
I am a FIRM believer in signs - and thankfully I'm pretty often aware enough to notice them and feel some rockin' universal validation, but I can't say that I've ever had such a clear sign sent through another, to me .
I just have to shake my head in total wonder and grace and enjoy how much the Divine loves me. Not to mention the support that is surrounding me like a pod of dolphins from all of you; please know I am so grateful.
Did you hear that? I think it was the splash of a mermaid.....
Last week my sister Anna sent a text asking what I was doing early Friday Morning. I like to help/hang/laugh with her on her many merchandising adventures, so I responded "Working with you?". She mentioned we'd have to get out the door by 6am - and did it up right - made to die for crab cakes for dinner to thank me in advance, promised to wake me with coffee; all that awesome stuff that sisters do when they are helping each other out.
Here is what I know - if I'm going to spend time with Anna, it's going to be fun, no matter what we are up to (well, funerals not so much, but we are working on some rituals to help with that too - stay tuned) so I was in. I am a pretty flexible girl and knew that if I was able to be back to put in a few hours of accounting, it would be worth the time - that's just how we roll.
She even filled my girnourmous water jug for me - thought hmmmm - wonder what I've gotten myself into for a fleeting second, but then just enjoyed the journey. We neared a clinic that while we sat at the stop light advertised every single kind of therapy known to mankind - and a few additional for martians too, I think. We joked about stopping on the way home and see what kind of a family discount program they offered. I asked if this was finally the part where she took me out to the middle of the woods and well, you know....because we were going further and further out of town where only cows, a few farmers and some pine trees live. I was getting curiouser and curiouser....when we turned onto this gorgeous twisty turny, curvy road and pulled into what looked like a bit of a starter camp for some sort of gorgeous bush/tree with these pink, purple and blue berries just dripping off the branches.
I had been SUPER DUPED.. I had been kidnapped and taken to the Enchanted Blueberry Forest - a place that up until that moment had been a legend. Can you say charmed life anyone? THIS is where I get kidnapped to? Wow. I will admit to you, gentle reader, I teared up as I got out of the car and leaped into the field of this magical trees bearing such beautiful fruits I fully expected tinkerbell to jump out and surprise me any second by sprinkling me with pixie dust so I could float and pick berries. I also must admit I thought about dancing down the aisles, but I digress.
Next thing I know, I'm handed these fabulous buckets in beautiful, bright, happy colors and sent forth. I'm giggling a lot like a 4 year old in a candy store at this point as floods of memories come rushing over me of time spent hiking to, picking, and consuming berries in my glorious childhood with my sister Kate and my pal Bill Richards - I swear I can hear them giggling with me with the pure delight that comes with happening upon something so amazingly delicious and such proof of how much the Divine loves us. I'm grinning my way down rows, cutting over to others tasting, just tasting the pancakes of breakfasts past both filled with the fruits of our adventures, but smothered in their syrup.....
There is more to the story, like the not so scary at all guard cat that decided we were allowed to remain on her land, and the adventures at a neighboring farm, but I love to just revisit the joy this morning gave me. How sisters just know what feels so great after a few weeks of really hard work - just how to celebrate life at 6 in the morning.
Thank you, Anna Banana for the magical adventure..... it was delightfully perfect.
